Who said you need a fork or a knife

There is a limit for Tanzanian specialty, Ugali na dagaa

When I came to Africa there were some customs which were not so familiar to me. Taking a bath with a bucket and a scoop or hole as a toilet took some time to get used to. It didn’t take long though. At time I only wished that there had been someone to share to experience with.

During this year I have spent lot of time with locals. Da, like there was really any choice. I have had some great times when they have taught me some local habits and times when I have taught them European or Western habits. We have talked openly how they experienced different things. Things which we take for granted.

Toilet. In Western world we prefer “sitting toilets”. I don’t know if it is because we are so lazy, or we can’t aim or we just like to enjoy the moment of privacy and if possible do it sitting. Here toilets are almost always holes. There is very rarely running water so by the hole there is a bucket and a scoop. After doing your business you throw some water on the top to “flush” and wash your hands with the same water. It is also very common that outside the toilet there are slippers to be used when entering inside. I guess this is meant to serve as a guarantee for hygiene.

My friends told me about their way to get familiar with Western habits. Imagine the first time to enter a room which is as nice as a kitchen, full of different beauty products, no slippers outside, and a chair to sit on. After doing your business you push or pull a button and everything disappears. When you wash your hands you can get cold water and hot water by turning two different tabs at the same time. You can even control the hotness. Imagine the case when taking a shower. No wonder they take long time in a “western” shower.

Eating. In most cases you eat everything with your bare hands. Sometimes but not always a spoon is provided. Knife is meant to cut the meat when preparing but it is never used while eating. Before starting to eat, waiter, house girl, or the woman of the house comes with some water to let you wash your hands. After that you are not supposed to touch anyone or anything before eating. If you meat new people, you greet them with your elbow.

When my friends told about their experiences I was enjoying a lot. They said it was very hard to get used with the fork and a knife at the same time. Spaghetti was a nightmare. After carefully following the others they said they got the hang of it. Still they took lot more time when eating.

Hand washing ritual is something they miss. They feel that you are not clean other wise. We might disagree since the water is not always boiled and comes from where ever sometimes.

Tissues or napkins were also a new custom for them. In Tanzania you wash your hands and mouth after eating. You don’t wipe anything anywhere in between. So imagine their wonder when they had to lay a napkin on their laps or saw others wiping their mouths so often. First they felt that “we” didn’t know how to eat, since we missed the mouth so often.

Portions of food. We all have eaten in a buffet. It takes time to learn that you don’t have to try everything. Still we over-eat and end up having stomach aches afterwards.

In Tanzania women are responsible of cooking. Man of the house is the first to eat, always. Then comes the guests and if food is left wife and children get the rest. If there are surprise guests or father was hungrier than usual it is not uncommon that there is no food left for children. Since eating is not a family custom that happens on a table together, Tanzanians don’t share family closeness like we do. In most cases everyone eats alone in their own corner, outside on the rock somewhere where there is shadow.

When I organised parties or took my friends out to eat in a buffet it was always a scene. Everyone takes as much food as fits on the plate. Filling a plate full is actually an arts form. You would be amazed how much food can one plate hold. We are also taught that if you take it on yourself on your plate, you finish it. Here you finish it if you can. Nobody is used to taking seconds, not to mention thirds like I am.

When choosing a place to eat, the most important factor is the size of portions. The more food you get with less money the better. So you can imagine how amazed my friends were when I took them restaurants which had normal portions but cost was ten times more than they were used to. Afterwards they always wondered how come they were satisfied while the portions were so little. We talked a lot about the nutrition or should I say lack of nutrition in their regular meals.

The custom of sharing a dinner with your family was also new for my friends. When we ate in Mwanza, or here in Dar es Salaam, we always sat together on a table and waited everyone to join us. If we went to restaurants we sat on the same table of course. My friends kept saying that it showed how much love one family has. They were really sad but anxious to adapt that culture into their families.

Greeting. In Tanzania greeting people plays a big role. There are different sayings for different age groups or different status. It is considered very rude to pass without greeting. Most greetings are verbal accompanied with a special handshake that you learn very fast. When you know each other from before, you hug two sides.

Dar es Salaam is already very Western so many western habits have been adapted already. Locals are used to “Westerns” passing by without saying anything so imagine the smile they give when you greet them like you are supposed to.

I took my friend to Swedish Ambassadors residence on the Lucia Day. Ambassador and his wife greeted us like Swedes do. Men handshake while women kiss on the both cheeks. Imagine my friends face when she had to kiss another lady. I was bursting inside. It was funny.

In case of an emergency. We all have had those moments when we need to go and there is no toilet anywhere near by. In urban areas it is not as easy as in rural. Well, not for girls anyway, or so I thought. I can’t tell you how many times we have stopped somewhere to pee when I have been with my friends. I am fortunate to be able to hold, but my friends seem to lack that skill. When they need to go, they need to go. So I can’t tell you how many times “we” have been doing it behind the car, in front of a gate, at the beach, by the shop or anywhere. And we are not talking about being drunk. This happens in the daylight everyday. Again I wonder do I happen to have extra strong modesty barrier. In any case the others seem to lack it. As long as your face doesn’t show when doing it.

European kids verses African kids. We loose by ten. Where ever you go you can recognise an African kid from Western kid. Children are a good mirror of a culture. Among Western kids there are of course some differences, some can behave, some are more “free spirited”. African kids are all the same. I am astonished. I have seen kids of all ages sitting on their mothers’ laps in weirdest places for long periods of time without saying a word. I have seen them pushed, kicked, treated badly, and used as a child labour, and again without saying a word. They are brought up that way. If someone even a little bit older than you asks you for a favour, you do it without a hesitation. In Finland, you wouldn’t see it happen, at least without few F-words or bad facial expressions.

Also the kids in restaurants, in most cases they can’t behave themselves. Same goes with public transportation. Here nothing. Kids can be passed in the bus from one lap to another and still they don’t say a word. Well, not until they are sitting on a white person’s lap. Then they start screaming. But other than that, they sit for hours without showing any sign of misbehaving. If I ever get any children, they will be brought up like Africans – that is for sure!

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